My Daughter’s Wedding – Step 1
PLANNER: As a planner my brain went in to overdrive when I was told that I would have (at the moment) 5 months to plan this wedding. Prioritizing is a must so I took out my list of things that need to be done for every client’s wedding: Budget, Ceremony including Music, Officiant, Reception Venue, Entertainment, Event Stationery, Photo, Video, Hair and Make-Up, Florist, Room Block, Transportation, Gift Bags, Attire, etc. I tell clients that when time is short compromises may have to be made. If clients are getting married at a house of worship their officiant may dictate the date. If ceremony and reception are at the same venue then they can choose their date and find an available venue or find the venue and choose an available date. In this case I knew they wanted the ceremony to be in a church (that they would find) and we knew the date so I started with the reception venue. Sent emails to four of my favorite venues while not telling anyone that this is for my daughter. “Just doing some preliminary research for a potential client who is not yet engaged but wants New Year’s Eve of this (2012) year” I said and ask for availability and preliminary cost. I expect that premiums will be charged because of the holiday.
Two venues are booked. One venue is outside the budget. One is available BUT they do have another wedding there that night. That’s OK – this venue has multiple event spaces that don’t make it seem like a wedding factory. It’s also a hotel that will give us a good rate for overnight accommodations. I have to pay them for the alcohol and there is a room rental fee. Catering is separate. I know their preferred caterers and know the one I would recommend. If the bride and groom like it we’ll be good to go.
I reach out to the caterer with the same question and then the DJ, and hair and make-up stylists. So far everyone is available.
MOTHER OF THE BRIDE: As the MoB I’m starting to think about what this is going to cost and have a number in mind. I dream that Publisher’s Clearing House has arrived at my door with balloons and an oversized check. So far they haven’t (and they never do). This is my only daughter’s wedding and it will be perfect even if it kills me. As I go through the list of things that need to be done in a short amount of time I stop on her dress. Keep in mind that all I’ve heard since Alison was a teenager was that her guests could eat hot dogs and beans but her dress would be fabulous! I know that fabulous takes about 6 months to order. By the time they’re formally engaged (Austen wants to wait until his sister’s wedding which is at the end of September. His sister, thankfully, put the kibosh to that) I don’t know how much time we’ll have but it won’t be 6 months even if we went shopping today. At this point a part of me is hoping they’ll change their mind while another part is excited. Still wishing (out loud) that they would consider another date. They know we can’t really move forward on anything until they’re officially engaged and I’m not getting any feedback as to when that will be. My husband is trying to be supportive. My sister is keeping me from jumping into my backyard lagoon with a brick tied to my chest.
THINGS I WOULD HAVE DONE DIFFERENTLY: At this point nothing.
My Daughter’s Wedding
As a wedding planner I am always appalled when I meet a Mother of the Bride (don’t even get me started on some of the Mothers of the Groom I’ve met) who is not supportive of her daughter. I swore that when it came time for my daughter’s wedding – which seemed remote at times – that I would be the most supportive MoB ever. Whatever she wanted would be OK with me. So imagine my surprise when the first words out of my mouth were “No, absolutely not!” when Alison came to me and said “Austen and I want to get married on New Year’s Eve.”
I wasn’t saying no to Austen even though they’d only known each other about 3 weeks when this conversation took place at the end of July 2012. He’s a great guy and they are wonderful together. I said no to getting married in FIVE months on a holiday. By the time they officially were engaged at the end of August we had FOUR months to plan the whole thing.
Less than a year is fine for someone else’s daughter. I did a New Year’s Eve wedding in 6 weeks in 2005 and in 2006 I had 10 weeks for a tented backyard wedding for 200+ where they had to cut down trees and get rid of stumps to get the tent in. I can make it happen in 4 weeks for a client if I have to, however, compromises have to be made when you’ve got less time.
Alison is my only daughter. I’ve had visions in my head of what her wedding might be like since the day she was born. I know how much fun (and how stressful) it can be to plan a wedding. I wanted more fun, less stress, and no compromises. I’ve waited 26 years to do this and now I had FOUR months! My head was about to explode just thinking about all of this. She had to go to work before we could finish the conversation. She was adamant that their wedding date would be 12-31-12 and I was equally adamant that it would not. Between Labor Day Weekend and the middle of October I had 12 events that need my undivided attention. I was in panic mode!
Can you tell I lost the battle over the date? Follow the blog as I tell you how it went from two perspectives: Mother of the Bride and Wedding Planner. I’ll tell you up front it was MUCH easier being the Mother of the Groom when my son got married 5+ years ago.
Can’t wait to hear what you think!
The NEW!! ATB website is here!
When All the Best was born in 2004 I knew that I had to have a website up and running before doing one bit of advertising or marketing. I was fortunate to have a friend from high school who created that first ATB website. It was good enough to attract my first client before I had even left my full time job.
Webmaster #2 was my cousin (well 2nd cousin). She didn’t like the way the first website was done on the back end so she redid it. Now I was paying someone to do this. With her the website went through two complete changes.
My next webmaster was recommended by a trusted business partner. He helped me do another total redo. After a one on one session with Alan Berg after one of his seminars I had a laundry list of changes. Webmaster #3 had just gotten a full time job and didn’t have the time that he once did so we were forced to part ways.
The website being revealed today was done by Vanessa and her team at Local Traffic Builder. This was truly a cooperative effort that may have taken a little longer than I expected but (I think) was totally worth the wait!
Can't wait to hear what you think!!
Feed me!!
ATTENTION Brides and Grooms!! Did you know that you need to feed the professionals working for you at your wedding? The the band (or DJ), photographer(s), the videographer (s)?? Did you read the clause in their contract that says a meal must be provided? If you saw it what did you think that meant?
The reason I ask is that I just saw a post on Facebook by one of ATB's strategic partners about vendor meals. He worked 11 hours for his clients and all he got was a cold sandwich. While the bride is the one who ordered the food I'm going to point the finger at the venue for offering sandwiches as an option.
There are several venues here at the Jersey Shore that (a) only offer sandwiches to the vendors or (b) have the option of sandwiches instead a hot meal. Shame on them. The kitchen is already cooking for the guests and have ordered extra just in case some guests show who weren't included in the count. The vendor meal count is given at the same time as the guest count so it's not a surprise. The wait staff had their family meal prior to the event. Bet they didn't have cold sandwiches.
All the Best has been fortunate to work at some very high end venues and with some of the best offsite caterers in NJ. All of them provide hot meals for the professionals. Several even provide the first five at no charge with the others charged on average $25.00 per person. Usually we eat what the guests eat at these venues with a wait staff person assigned to us for soft drinks. It's a gesture that makes us all want to recommend the venues and caterers to future clients.
I've seen professionals who think they're guests at the event they're 
working and take plates stacked high with cocktail hour food. Personally, I think that's rude. Drinking alcohol is the biggest no-no of all for a professional.
I also think it's a little cheeky for a professional to put in their contract that they won't eat chicken for their meal. Unless you're a vegetarian you'll eat what's put in front of you and be happy you got fed. If the guests got chicken why are you too good to eat it?
If you're a professional working an event for one of my clients I promise you a hot meal. I don't know what it will be (we were served eggplant parmigiano the other night - a little burnt but edible) but I promise it won't be sandwiches.
If you're the bride and groom please be kind to your professionals and make sure they get a hot meal. It shouldn't cost you too much and it will pay big dividends in the end. If your venue only offers sandwiches then insist that they provide a hot meal. You'll be glad you did!!