As a wedding planner I am always appalled when I meet a Mother of the Bride (don’t even get me started on some of the Mothers of the Groom I’ve met) who is not supportive of her daughter. I swore that when it came time for my daughter’s wedding – which seemed remote at times – that I would be the most supportive MoB ever. Whatever she wanted would be OK with me. So imagine my surprise when the first words out of my mouth were “No, absolutely not!” when Alison came to me and said “Austen and I want to get married on New Year’s Eve.”
I wasn’t saying no to Austen even though they’d only known each other about 3 weeks when this conversation took place at the end of July 2012. He’s a great guy and they are wonderful together. I said no to getting married in FIVE months on a holiday. By the time they officially were engaged at the end of August we had FOUR months to plan the whole thing.
Less than a year is fine for someone else’s daughter. I did a New Year’s Eve wedding in 6 weeks in 2005 and in 2006 I had 10 weeks for a tented backyard wedding for 200+ where they had to cut down trees and get rid of stumps to get the tent in. I can make it happen in 4 weeks for a client if I have to, however, compromises have to be made when you’ve got less time.
Alison is my only daughter. I’ve had visions in my head of what her wedding might be like since the day she was born. I know how much fun (and how stressful) it can be to plan a wedding. I wanted more fun, less stress, and no compromises. I’ve waited 26 years to do this and now I had FOUR months! My head was about to explode just thinking about all of this. She had to go to work before we could finish the conversation. She was adamant that their wedding date would be 12-31-12 and I was equally adamant that it would not. Between Labor Day Weekend and the middle of October I had 12 events that need my undivided attention. I was in panic mode!
Can you tell I lost the battle over the date? Follow the blog as I tell you how it went from two perspectives: Mother of the Bride and Wedding Planner. I’ll tell you up front it was MUCH easier being the Mother of the Groom when my son got married 5+ years ago.
Can’t wait to hear what you think!
First let me remind you that I have three daughters, 22, 20 and 18, so those days are right around the corner for our family.
Mercifully, you don’t mention your husband in this post, but I would be curious to know what role a father should play in this blessed event. (Please tell me I just have to pay and show up!)
Thank GOD for my ex wife.
Don:
My husband was amazingly supportive and barely said a word about the cost. On the days when I wanted to tie a cinder block to my chest and jump in the lagoon he (along with my sister) helped me to keep things in perspective and move forward. I don’t envy you 3 daughters. All you should need is a clean tux and a smile. Here to help when you’re ready!
You actually make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this matter to be really something that I think I would never understand. It seems too complex and very broad for me. I am looking forward for your next post; I’ll try to get the hang of it!