The Planner Says:

The design or “feel” of an event is very important.  It’s how your guests will know they’re part of more than just a wedding.  The ceremony is the celebration of the love and commitment that the bride and groom share.  It is the start of their new life together as a married couple.   The ceremony can be very solemn and religious or it can be very light and spiritual.  The reception after the ceremony is the time to celebrate this new union.  Personal touches that reflect the newlyweds should abound.  Party on!!

Kristiann and Nick had both sets of parents participate in the unity candle portion of their ceremony. Photo courtesy of Jeff Tisman Photography
It was important to Kristiann and Nick to include both sets of parents in their ceremony.   Photo courtesy of Jeff Tisman Photography at The Ashford Estate

It was important to Austen that they be married in a church so they set off to find one in Asbury Park that would accept them.  PLANNING NOTE:  Here at the Jersey Shore it’s very difficult to find a church that will allow non-members to marry there.  This is especially true of Catholic churches.  I’m not saying it’s impossible.  I’m just saying it’s not easy.

They found a church within a reasonable distance of where the reception would take place and booked it with the help of Austen’s father who is a minister and would perform the ceremony.  PLANNING NOTE: It is recommended that you keep that “reasonable distance” in mind if your ceremony is going to be offsite from the reception.  None of your guests will thank you if they have to drive an hour or more from one place to the next especially if they’re from out of town and unfamiliar with the area.

Alison and Bill were married in a church which was only 20 minutes from their reception and hotel room blocks. Photo courtesy of Therese Marie Photography
Alison and Bill were married in a church that was only 20 minutes from their reception and hotel room blocks. Photo courtesy of Therese Marie Wagner Photography

Their chosen church did not have a center aisle but after Superstorm Sandy that became a non-issue after a large stained glass window was damaged during the storm and had to be boarded up.  At least the scaffolding was gone by the time of the ceremony.  PLANNING NOTE:  If your ceremony location has two aisles use one aisle for the processional and the other for the recessional.  The decor was kept simple in the church; pew markers which would be re-purposed later in the day and a floral swag on a railing.  PLANNING NOTE:  use decor items as many times as possible from ceremony to cocktail hour or reception to after party.

Alison and Austen chose this church for their ceremony. It was less than 3 miles from the location of the reception. Photo courtesy of John Arcara Photography
Alison and Austen chose this church for their ceremony. The damaged stained glass window forced everything to the left which made for one aisle rather than two.  Photo courtesy of John Arcara Photography

They specifically chose New Year’s Eve because they wanted a huge party to celebrate their marriage.  That theme didn’t work well with the usual four hour  wedding reception timeline of intros, first dances, toasts, dinner, cake cutting,and dessert service leading to last dance.  We decided to break it up with a sit down dinner for up to 50 guests followed by the party for those 50 + another 100.  The dinner would be held in one room with the party in another.

Kristiann & Nick opted for a head table for them and their bridal party. Photo courtesy of Jeff Tisman Photography
Kristiann & Nick opted for a head table for them and their bridal party at The Ashford Estate which featured pillar candles and flowers on cake stands.  Photo courtesy of Jeff Tisman Photography

After some discussion the bride and groom decided to let me do the design for the dinner and party.  Alison did have a say on the flowers that would be provided by Dara Ellis of Designs by Dara and decor for dinner. She hit Pintrest hard for ideas that included bell jars.  I would be responsible for the party with little or no input from them.  Dara, Alison and I did a site visit to go over everything both at the church and at both locations at the hotel.  PLANNING NOTE:  Site visits and walk throughs are extremely important to make sure that everyone is on the same page.  Keep other professionals who may not be able to attend in the loop – especially your sales representative at the venue.  We did another one with Jason Jani from the SCE Event Group just for the ballroom.

The Continental Room on the Berkeley Hotel‘s mezzanine level was chosen for dinner.  Two sets of 24’ long tables that would seat up to 25 guests each were set up using the hotel’s high back padded chairs.  The feel was to be soft and romantic for a quiet dinner with lots of candlelight and flowers.  PLANNING NOTE:  Open flame candle rules are different at each venue.  Check with your venue before making any final plans.  Letterpress menus with hand calligraphied names provided by Abbey Malcolm Press were used as place cards.  Alison chose the fabric for the custom made table runners that were placed over black satin linens with cream colored napkins.  The pew flowers were re-purposed here as chair markers for the four couples that would rotate to new seats after each course (note the re-purpose of the pew markers on the mantle also).  The room glowed once the lights were turned down.

Alison and Austen hosted a 5 course dinner for immediate family and forever friends in the Continental Room of The Berkeley Hotel. Photo courtesy of John Arcara Photography
The decor was soft and romantic for the 5 course dinner for immediate family and forever friends in the Continental Room of The Berkeley Hotel. Photo courtesy of John Arcara Photography

The ballroom for the party was set up like a club.  White lounge furniture provided by SCE Event Group surrounded the white dance floor (really wanted checkerboard but that’s what happens when you call two months before a major holiday) provided by Ocean Tents who also provided the 8′ banquet tables for dinner, and the tables and chairs for the eating area for the party.  PLANNING NOTE:  Never assume that your venue has all the items that you’ll need such as tables and chairs.  Ask your venue representative for a list of their usable inventory and what their policy is on bringing in outside rentals.  The food area featured black and white check linens with alternating black and white chairs.  My associates (THANK YOU Lauren and Melissa!!!) moved the candelabras from dinner down to these tables.  There was a quiet lounge off to the other side for those who wanted to get away from the music for a while.  SCE provided custom lighting (an absolute must for any event) including a gobo of their monogram created by Abbey Malcolm Press.  They draped all the wall dividers and even made it snow….

The area lit in red was easily accessible from the lounge/party area so guests could eat whenever they liked. Custom lighting including monogram gobo provided by SCE Event Group. Photo courtesy of John Arcara Photography.
The area lit in red was easily accessible from the lounge/party area so guests could eat whenever they liked. Custom lighting including monogram gobo provided by SCE Event Group. Photo courtesy of John Arcara Photography.
The quiet lounge was easily accessible behind a draped room divider for those who wanted to get away from the noise for a while.
The quiet lounge was easily accessible behind a draped room divider for those who wanted to get away from the noise for a while.  Note the stars on the ceiling.  Custom lighting and draping provided by SCE Event Group. Photo courtesy of John Arcara Photography.

The bride and groom was not allowed to see the room until it was completely finished and they were speechless!  The guests were impressed as well.  As a planner (and the MoB) more than that I cannot ask!

Alison and Austen's reaction to seeing the New Year's Eve Party set up for the first time. SPEECHLESS! Every planners dream reaction. Photo courtesy of John Arcara Photography
Alison and Austen’s reaction to seeing the New Year’s Eve Party set up for the first time. SPEECHLESS! Every planners dream reaction. Photo courtesy of John Arcara Photography

The Mother of the Bride says:

I shed gallons of tears over this.  Most of them unwarranted.  I just wanted everything to be perfect which just added to my stress level.   Dara Ellis of Designs by Dara did an outstanding job of making our ideas come to life – even after I had to cut the budget somewhat.  PLANNING NOTE:  If you cut your floral budget by 10%, for example, expect to get 10% less flowers than originally quoted.   Alison’s bouquet of protea and roses was supposed to be wrapped with lace from my wedding gown but the piece got lost somewhere along the way.  She did have a rosary that my father had gotten from the Vatican wrapped around the stems.

Alison's bouquet with protea and roses by Designs by Dara. Photo courtesy of John Arcara Photography
Alison’s carries the rosary beads her late Grandpa John brought back from his first trip to the Vatican with her bouquet of protea and roses by Designs by Dara. Photo courtesy of John Arcara Photography

For the ceremony I insisted on a large floral swag which shows up in ZERO photos and no one really looked at anyway because the focus of the ceremony was away from it.  Given the choice I definitely wouldn’t do that again.  I gave Dara my wedding veil to use as the tulle for the pew flowers.

Designs by Dara used the MoB's veil for the pew flowers which were used again at dinner. Photo courtesy of John Arcara Photography
Designs by Dara used the pieces of tulle from the MoB’s veil for the pew flowers which were used again at dinner. Photo courtesy of John Arcara Photography

I really wanted phalaenopsis orchids in the dinner flower arrangements but gave that up after finding out how much they cost.  Dara was able to get tulips for the arrangements which included hydrangea and roses.  The overall look was better than I imagined.  Dara added votives wrapped in crystals and made the bell jars which held topiary type arrangements of flowers and moss.  PLANNING NOTE:  Coffee cups should not be pre-set.  They should be brought out for coffee and dessert service at the end of the evening. Bring this up during your final walk through with your catering sales rep.

Closer look at the decor provided by Designs by Dara used on the dinner tables. Photo courtesy of John Arcara Photography
Closer look at the decor provided by Designs by Dara used on the dinner tables.  White tulips were a beautiful cost effective alternative to more expensive phalaenopsis orchids.  Photo courtesy of John Arcara Photography

The only extras ordered for the party was a “Resolution Tree”  and a midnight balloon drop.  Guests were asked to write a new year’s resolution for themselves and the bride and groom and hang it on the tree.

Resolution Tree - leave your new year's resolution for the bride and groom. Photo courtesy of John Arcara Photography
Resolution Tree – leave your new year’s resolution for the bride and groom. Cards & Monogram designed by Abbey Malcolm Press.  Photo courtesy of John Arcara Photography

What I would do differently:  Not much other than delete the swag from the ceremony decor and increase the size of the midnight balloon drop.  I had a vision in my head of what everything should look and feel like and the reality beat the fantasy thanks to Designs by Dara and Jason Jani and his team at SCE Event Group.  When Jason and I worked together on the setup the day before the wedding I came home relaxed and with a smile on my face.  I knew then that everything would be OK and it was.